its been a very busy semester...

after 5 semester, i've been through a lot..

like, a lot!! 

from the first semester, trying to adapt with the new environment, frankly speak, i never been to Negeri Sembilan before..

it was a bit different from my hometown environment, Penang...

i learnt the culture, the accent and the most important thing, is the food... 

the first roommate of mine, her name is Akmal Amira, nad she didn't end up to be a food technologist, but she is now a pilot.. wutwut!

hahaha... it was funny back then, i fall for this guy... hahahha... cant believe i was actually did, perhaps do...

second semester, exposed to the new, very very new environment of involving and revolving myself around the campus...

wani is everywhere.. 

my very first time, singing in front of the crowd... 

and i was honored to one of the member of drama club in HKB 222..

i get to know more people... and more knowledge in expressing myself rather than u just sit and cry... :)

the third semester was the worst of all...

my heart broke into pieces when i saw my performance in my studies getting worst..

nothing can save me at that time... nothing...

semester four, 

renting the house with classmates..

nothing much happened..

but i guess...

i could say that i was kinda watching KBS drama at the almost end of the semester,..

hahaha... hani...

fifth...

hhmm...

it was the sweetest...

enough said, sweetest of all.... deep-deep inside...

not in love, but i was... not crazy of u, but i was.. but now, i gotta try to fall out of love with you.. :) 

just wanna ask, although it sounds a bit tak make sense

nak tanya kepada sesiapa yang tahu, ada kompaun untuk bakar makanan tanpa alas....?? ermm... kalau bagi warning tak boleh ke..?? kata nak promote tempat untuk pelancong.. tapi... errmm... entah lah, malas layan...  kalau ye, takpe lah.. bayar je lah.. kalau tak... hhmm.... nak halalkan duit tu susahlah... arrghh! tengok geram!! i'm sorry, tapi banyak lagi benda yang nak kena fikir dari fikir benda yang entah perlu ada entah tak.. entah lah! semoga mereka yang aniaya orang yang lemah tu dapat balasan setimpal... setimpal dalam erti kata, betul-betul setimpal lah! 

wani, what are you doing?!

i made up my mind.. 

i'm taking this part time job.. 

i know.. i know..

most of you will probably said that i am actually wasting my time..

well i guess, i dont want to burden anyone..

i'm trying to be independent.. 

memang dapat tentangan...

but i guess, i really should give it a try..

a try ok..

whether its goin well, or the other way around,

i dont mind.. 

i am 20.. gaining experiences is part of the routine in teenage life!

ok.. 

ever listen to "muara hati" song, hafiz ft siti nurhaliza..

it is a good song,

if me not wrong, it is actually for adam dan hawa OST..

sounds great.. 

tomorrow.. 

i'm gonna sit for my QC test... 

people are like questioning bout my study,

what are you actually studying wani..??

peeps..

i'm in Diploma in Textile Technology, from Applied Science Faculty..

i know people doubt on me... 

they give a thought on how less important fabric in life..

but, they never thought of the technology actually uplift and improved their way of wearing a cloth ..

medical textile, geo textile and more part of it.. 

i have my own life plan, 

and insyallah, with Allah's will..

i'll make my step forward..

one by one.. 

asking bout my career.. its too early to predict..

i have my family...

and they are my everything..

asking about my love life,

i am not looking for any at this moment...

asking about losing my weight,

i'm started to think about it.. hahahaha

insyallah, my girlfriends are very supportive.. :)

they keep on motivate me to look better...

the idea of 'better myself' always in my mind.. thank u girls! :)

enough for now... 

abnormal

i think,

i'm abnormal!

no no!

i am normal... 

its just, the way i'm thinking..

sometimes... 

its just terrible!

i wish to study abroad.. really..

paksu is now in toulouse, paris..

i saw farah is now in australia..

iylni is now in ireland...

too few too mention..

me..?? 

i'm stuck..! 

:P 

i really gotta work hard..

TESL, i wish you could fly me...

away... :)

i am happy to be here..

but, i need to be in a new place...

somewhere... 

omma surgery...

ola!

last week, mak baru lepas pembedahan,

i dont know what it is called actually and officially,

but in my words,

jantung mak berlubang....

selepas 3 kali tunda operation ni, 

i pun risau sebenarnya, bukak jantung semua tu, bukan perkara kecil..

nnti i post the picture.... 

but now, mak looking healthier than before... 

i wanna write more, but i', kinda sleepy... :)

nite peeps

i love to be homee..

woke up not that early today,
tapi sempat siapkan breakfast for daddy.. :)
tak mandi lagi...
pukul 12 nnti ada photoshoot..
i tukang tempek bedak je... eheheh....
tak nak balik Pilah....

kenapa mak cik cakap macam tu?

sedang asyik tengah skyping..

sedang asyik mendownload movie..

suddenly mak cik i sibuk bercerita pasal orang minyak..

dah la i duduk sorang..

benda ni wujud, cuma ada tempat-tempat aja... 

hesitate... 

aweng accident & we tak plan!

so, i tak ingat the date... bila tah this thing happen, 

but, kawan Lya (one of my housemate), nama dia

Syazwan, he accident langgar divider... hihihi...

but kinda teruk la...

though that was the first time jumpa and makan-makan,

seriously, tak rasa segan,

tapi kesian pulak, 

we all makan sedap-sedap,

dia nak kunyah pun susah... alahai..

sabar ya Wan, hahhaa...

rambut kau tetap korea! 

hahahah...

lepas tu, 

pegi amik Azuwan Jali, 

merangkap ala2 adik i! 

waah gitu!

dah la sesat.. ayuhai... 

we're from bangi, nak pegi amik Azuwan kat precint 15..

silap masuk jalan lah.. apalah... hahahaha....

serious lawak...

ni Lya and Azuwan! 

me and Azuwan... we all theme hitam!

mungkin beliau gembira... mungkin..

ladies.... from left, Reena, Lya and me, Wani!

so, kitorang balik pilah dalam 2,3 pagi cm tu.... 

stormy and cloudy..?? no meatball...

LOL! its been like years i tak buka blog i!! ouhh!! i miss this diary of mine! 

i saw how things change...

old friends, new friends.. 

and some of them,

are not that old, not that old...

i odnt know, these days selalu hujan... 

macam ni... 

tapi ni cantik kann... oaaww!

hesitate...

sighing...

is that what you do, when u hate a person, 

i gotta say, 

stop it..

u're wasting ur energy... 

dah macam perang dingin dah i tengok! haish! 

ok! so, i'll be going to mrsm balik pulau, 

ikut izat and ika, ada debate training...

daa...

u know, 

frankly, i bukan lagi those yang capable untuk debate anymore..

brain dah tak work langsung..

and i dont know why..

most probably ada kena mengena dengan my previous

surgery..

but...

arrgh...

i dont wanna talk bout! 

nak post more! addicted ni!!

recently

I’m sitting on my bed, next to it is the window… the one that connect us to the sunlight that shines above us.. the weather  today, it reminds me of twilight perhaps… where Edward is playing the baseball with the family team… ouh! Edward! Ok, and suddenly its raining heavy heavily!!! Siap kena tempias kat tepi tingkap ni!  Recently, Yes, life goes on.. just like the song..  sung by leann rimes…

But you know, how much friends and family play important roles in making your  day, I dreamt bout daddy, the situation was very gloomy, I cried and I was trying very hard asking for dad’s forgiveness, and in the same dream, I dreamt bout him. The one who I called DAUN, he came to my house wearing a green baju melayu, and with songkok, he was trying to speak to me, but he cant talk well, speechless I guess, he gave me a prune, asian fruit and kiwi.. motive..?? what a weird dream!

To see how beautiful the pokok kelapa waving at me… its like a very calming moment in a hectic situation… this is not a movie.. a movie will have an ending where the bad people will probably die or get cought by the police, an the situation will be back to normal.. right? But not in life… as long as we come clean, then, everything will be alright…

I just miss mum, dad and my family, I didn’t sleep last night, I was too stressed, and I gotta say, I’m a very weak person, where I need, support, and 1 important thing the most is we, need support, I was on the phone with dad just now, things that live deeply inside this heart was expressed…. And there is just one thing that daddy want me to know, YOU WAS BORN ALONE, YOU CAME INTO THE WORLD ALONE, AND YOU WILL LEAVE THE WORLD ALONE, SO, TRY NOT TO BE SAD IF YOU LIVE ALONE.. my dad was the best motivator. and... people, we don’t live in the intergalactic space where we meet ET and then miracle happen… 

time will change, almost everything!

believe me, its already study week..

early in March,

dah masuk study week...

after 14 weeks of classes... 

now, we gotta revise balik semua yang dah dipelajari..

watching the time passing by...

how fast...

i'll do my best! 

praying for the best! 

doa mak and ayah ku pohon..

semoga Allah permudahkan segalanya

more than what it takes!

short and simple post!

just reminding to all, 

those who talking bad bout u,

pls pls pls and never consider them as friend..

just consider them as someone u met just to fulfill the empty list in your heart! 

to those yang pernah cakap bad thing pasal i, 

siapa makan cili, terasa pedasnyaaa!

#justsaying

afewweeks

i hate final! hate it! hate it!! tiba2. masa ni lah sibuk quiz.. test semua! kenapa tanak buat awal2..??

ke Uitm Shah Alam dan sayaaaa....

balik kelas petang ni, 

packing untuk ke Shah Alam esok, 

lab session i guess..

while the feeling!

aargghh!!

indescribable..

demam, selsema, sakit tekak, batuk...

and even hard to breath sebab batuk teruk...

how to survive?

the lab session akan non-stop dari pagi sampai malam... 

uhuk... 

a short post after a long time!

dear DIARY OF SOUL..

memang dah lama sangat tak post anything di 

DIARY OF SOUL... 

some of my friends ada yang tanya, kenapa dah lama tak update,

macam yang semua orang selalu cakap, 

its been a very very busy time for me.. :)

it is now February.. 

haii.... sekejap saja Mr January dah tinggalkan us behind..

semakin dekat jugak dengan final exam..

physically and emotionally tak ready...

last night, i was touched, i dont know why...

suddenly i cried...

maybe orang akan ingat i am .. errkk..

MENTALLY ILL... 

well, might be..

tapi memang i tak pandai nak handle stress, 

i cried and termenung most of the time...

so..so..

i am so homesick..!

next week, me gonna spend a week kat Uitm Shah Alam, 

ada lab session... 

mesti letiihh.....

lepas tu study week, lepas tu exam...

nak pengsan! nak demam! nak kawin!

pfftt! 

like whatta yang last tu! ouh ya,

i'm writing my own novel...

well, probably baru start draft.. tapi....

i wann make this carolhazwani empire berjalan seperti yang

me and Carol nak... 

wish me luck...

lots of love... WANI..

16 january 1992

alhamdulilah..

its been 20 years i dah hidup di bumi Allah...

lots of thing i've been through..

firstly, 

i wanna thanks Allah, 

yang telah menciptaku,

memberiku perlindungan,

rezeki,

dan kurniaan yang tak terhingga..

yang telah memberiku ibubapa,

keluarga dan sahabat yang terbaik..

Alhamdulillah..

secondly..

terima kasih yang tak terhingga buat mak and papak,

yang bagi segala-galanya...

yang menjaga dari kecil anakmu yang 

pernah membuatmu mengalirkan air mata kegembiraan dan kesedihan...

i'm really really am sorry mak and papak..

i love you mak and bapak...

without you, i'm not gonna be here...

thirdly, 

to my family, 

kak ila, abang, and kak pika..

the three of you rock my life!

the guidance..

selalu bagi pandangan jujur...

the one who i shared my story the most,..

understanding...

i love u olls!

the girls.. 

fateeha and aisya..

always made my day! :')

to friends,

who believe in me, 

who always with me through all situation...

who helped me a lot all the way, 

all the way to the 20th years of my life...

yang always tahan dengan perangai i yang buruk..

:)

to myself...

hmm.. 

i have no resolution... but,

i wanna be,

the best..

the best... 

girl.. in anything i do... in many ways..

i want people to accept the way i am!

i love myself... 

oh january...

today..

all of the housemates.. we all pergi lunch..

i was asleep..

lepas tu, dengar suara Farah, roomate i, 

"wani... wani.."

lemah gemalai... 

cara i bangun.. lemah macam nak jatuh katil... hahhaha...

bila dah bangun, baru nak cari jam... hehehe.... 

guess what..

jam menunjukkan pukul 12.37 p.m..

itu dia!!

anak dara bangun tengah hari!

hahahaha...

but, i nak balas waktu tidor yang telah diambil dalam menyiapkan macam2...

ok, to be truth..

we all semua tak mandi!! hahaha...

satu rumah perangai sama!

yeah!! 

ada geng!

pergi lunch sama-sama dekat nasi ayam gemas...

nyuumm! sup dia gila sedap lah!

dah habis makan, bayar-bayar.. lepas tu, farah and kila, 

nampak kucing...

perrgghh!! memang tak la i nak amik kucing tu..

tapi diambil jugak yyeee..! heheheh...

sebab.... 

err... tak tau.. 

the name is BO...

btw, i have another good post... 

but not now... malam ni mungkin... nak bercerita.. pasal JANUARY..

malam nii....

010112..

dah bertolak dari penang..

i am now kat rumah abang di Nilai..

uhukk.. malam ni, bulan separuh..

cantik..

walaupun separuh, tapikan, 

sangat bercahaya.. waah gitu!

sambil tengok bulan dengar talking to the moon - bruno mars..

i could smile... 

ALONE..

hehee...

so, esok pulang ke pilah.. perasaan...

NO MOOD...

seriously.. i dont feel like talking...

i dont feel like in love..

i feel nothing... 

kalau dah memang semua orang cakap, 

u pergi sana untuk belajar..

memang tak lah nak seleweng..

tiba-tiba i insaf..

:) nite people...

banyak nak ckp, but, battery low.. daa